Review: White House Down

29 Jun

Ike2Okay, I’m just going to say it— I loved this movie!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationWell, “loved” isn’t quite the word I’d use, but yeah, we definitely got our money’s worth.

Ike2Folks, if you know who Roland Emmerich is—

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationDirector of such classics as Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012—

Ike2Then what I am about to say should send you racing to the movies—right now!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationSay it, brother.

Ike2Roland Emmerich has outdone himself.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationYep. And whether you love his movies or you think they are ludicrous examples of Hollywood excess, you owe it to yourself to see White House Down.

Ike2This is the kind of movie that, when somebody says, “The pen is mightier than the sword,” you know eventually the bad guy is getting stabbed with a pen!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationYeah, it’s the kind of movie that, when dad misses his daughter’s flag-waving routine in the school talent show, you know that flag-waving will play a critical role in saving the day!

Ike2It’s the kind of movie that has Jamie Foxx as the President!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationRight, and we don’t mean Ray Jamie Foxx, or Collateral Jamie Foxx, or even Django Jamie Foxx. More like Living Color Jamie Foxx.

Ike2I think it was Jamie Foxx playing Dave Chapelle playing Samuel L. Jackson playing Barack Obama, as imagined by Martin Sheen.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationHaving seen the movie, that actually makes sense to me.

Ike2So he was playing it for laughs, right? Please tell me the whole cast was playing it for laughs.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationWell…there were definitely laughs. Some actually intentional. But the thing is such a good-times roller-coaster ride, you can’t help but go with it.

Ike2Hokey and jokey, but never pokey.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationA little pokey at the beginning, maybe.

Ike2Yeah, but that’s where they set everything up. Need I remind you of the pen?

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationThe Channing Tatum/Maggie Gyllenhall character complications were strictly obligatory. But it seemed like everybody was having a good time.

Ike2James Woods was definitely having a good time.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationI love the white-haired buzz-cut. He had a similar look in the remake of Straw Dogs. The six people who saw that movie know how great he can be playing villains.

Ike2I liked seeing Richard Jenkins and Michael Murphy as Serious Politicians Number One and Two. I’m pretty sure they thought they were doing a remake of Seven Days in May.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationI would have liked to have seen their faces when somebody finally told them–Psych! It’s Roland Emmerich–and you’ve been punked! Anyway, it’s nice to see two good actors getting paid.

Ike2I think everybody’s getting paid for this one.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationIt’s a crowd-pleaser, all right. Lots of cheering and clapping from the audience.

Ike2Yeah, but they clapped for the new Machete preview, too, so it was kind of a weird crowd.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationSo—better than Olympus Has Fallen?

Ike2 I thought I was watching Olympus Has FallenThe Musical!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationI noticed a few direct lifts from Die Hard, too. The computer hacker even had a lollipop.

Ike2No “yippee-ki-yays,” though.

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationHey, it’s a family movie—in which cherished icons of democracy are destroyed and hundreds of people are mercilessly slaughtered.

Ike2Good, clean, all-American fun!

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationI seem to recall you liked Olympus.

Ike2You know, I vaguely remember liking it…

Happy Red Haired Freckled Boy With Missing Front Teeth, Laughing Retro Clipart IllustrationBut…

Ike2But I will never forget this movie.

Our Review:

The Roland Emmerich movie of Roland Emmerich movies.

Ludicrous, over-the-top fun.

Hokey-Jokey-Not Pokey.

Two tail-wags out of five, but go see it anyway.

2 Responses to “Review: White House Down”

  1. Serena and Clyde June 30, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

    Is Ike fixed? Clyde was just wondering out loud about this. Sorry to say, but the green-eyed jealousy monster has struck my mutt and he’s taking potshots all over (better than dumps, right?) because your dog gets to go to the movies and he doesn’t!

    Anyway, he says to tell “the pretentious little sot” that he’s all wrong on his review of “White House Down.” I must admit I agree with Clyde that Ike was far too generous in his praise. Just thought you’d want to pass it along. Just curious, too–Do you get a senior discount or kid’s price for Ike? Clyde is convinced the dude is on the dole and saunters in as pretty as you please just pretending he’s a seeing-eye dog.

    • mjcomptn June 30, 2013 at 6:26 pm #

      Ike’s “fixed,” but don’t tell him that! And who says he’s not a seeing-eye dog?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: